Get your band instant respect among alcoholics.

Hell yeah, get this shit while it's hot-Icehouse Beer guitar right now on thebay. This is nearly as awesome as the Gorky Park guitar that's been on and off of Craig's List for a while now.

Moustache Tracking-Day9

Well, it's coming along nicely-my face has not felt the steely kiss of Madame Razor in 9 days, playing basketball this weekend was tough-it felt like I was wearing a scarf on my face or something. Overall, though, I've gotten past the whole looking all stubbly phase. Here's where I'm at...

Not too shabby (I kind of look like a Eastern European basketball player or something)-I've noticed it's coming in all weird, though, evidently I am incapable of growing hair in a few places on my face. Here's a close-up (apologies for my co-workers ultra-lo-res digital phone pictures)

Fig 1. Close up on hairless regions

I feel as though I'm learning so much about myself!

FOX news-it's finest hour yet...

I had heard that the fine folks over at FOXnews were having a particularly sensational time with this hurricane business, probably because frankly it distracts from the rough summer GW has been having, but still...how's this for an opening paragraph? Katrina May Turn New Orleans Into Atlantis Monday, August 29, 2005 NEW ORLEANS— When Hurricane Katrina (search) hits New Orleans, it could turn one of America's most charming cities into a vast cesspool tainted with toxic chemicals, human waste and even coffins released by floodwaters from the city's legendary cemeteries. and the rest of the story is here So downtown New Orleans will be tainted with toxic chemicals and human waste? I've never been there, but I have seen "Live and Let Die" at least twice, and I've seen part of a "Girl's Gone Wild" video, and I was led to believe downtown New Orleans has been pretty much awash in toxic chemicals and human waste for the last 150 years or so. Hey! I kid, I kid. The news coverage is what I'm trying to skewer here-I was in a flood in Des Moines and it really blew, and I was in a gigantic wind storm in Iowa City that knocked out the power for a week, so if I could combine those two with all the tornados I went through, I can kind of imagine what's going down-I also know I would want to be hearing responsible news reports of what might happen, not crazy apocalyptic crap like this-news like this is the reason my mom never leaves her suburb. I really wish I had called in sick to work today and had cable so I could stay home and watch their breathless coverage as they try to sustain interest when the storm inevitably slackens, then veers off and pounds the shit out of some small town in Mississippi-which will probably go completely uncovered. I really think they should send O'Reilly down there to put Katrina in the "no-spin" zone and ask the hard-hitting, no-nonsense questions he is known for.

all this time I've been giving it away for free...

Hey, does "dignity" got ya down? Well, the friendly folks at lease your body can relieve you of that, and hook you up for 5Gs just for TATOOING A CORPORATE LOGO ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FOREHEAD. It was only a matter of time after people starting getting paid to drive those Red Bull cars around, really.