okay, this is getting out of hand...

I had no idea I would be devoting so much of this blog to facial hair, but this is ridiculous, responding to the "Schick Quattro", which was in turn a response to the "Mach 3" razor, Gilette has upped the ante yet again, bringing the public a five bladed razor. This means that after years of being complacent with less than three blades, since 1998 razors have jumped first to three blades, then 4, and now 5. we're eseentially gaining a blade every 1.5-2 years. We must stop this race to madness, or by 2016 razors will have cartridges the size of skateboards in order to accomodate the eleven blades needed for a shave. Women will have to make do with the Schick "Octo" pulsating 8-blade for ladies, since their shaving tech tends to lag a little bit. Act now by taking this highly scientific online poll-and keep hope alive!

This almost makes up for "Kazaam!"

Shaquille O'Neal has always been one of my least favorite basketball players-when he was in his prime on the Lakers he was merciless, egotistical, and frankly I think a lot of the credit for the 3 championships he won should go the refs who swallowed their whistles as he egregiously committed charge after charge in order to score. Now that Shaq has moved on and is not quite the dominant force, evidently he has decided to stick up for the disadvantaged, such as last week in Miami when he helped arrest someone assaulting a gay couple by chasing them down in his car and calling the cops. I just love picturing some hoodlum screaming epithets and slinging a bottle like he's some big tough guy, then noticing that Shaq Diesel is on his tail. This homophobe was just lucky he got in the protective arms of the law before he was exposed to some Shaq Fu...